ILLUMINATION

I have developed a phobia for all things living including myself The doors of my mind slammed shut Yet the gates of brass has been broken And the bars of iron cut asunder Who would lead me by the hand out of this pit? Well because I am blinded with pain and trauma Who will set me free?  Everyone like the over the counter pharmacy, seems to have a solution to the unknown question that plagues my mind Save my Soul As I wander, I met a man Who didn't come of his own Accord He came with a diagnosis and a doctor's recommendation I hid from him  The pain and the scars another eye must not see I didn't need a third opinion Fear was a lifeline But all he had recommended was a book I wondered when he delivered his prognosis How one book could contain all that I needed for life In this book, I found a woman She trod the Same path I'm on Her name meant date palm yet she escaped unfruitfulness by the cat's whiskers With similar scars and a bag full of wisdom Whether...

Years after; I finally read the book completely It took a lot but I did it My next treatment, was to go into a company; they called themselves Christians The gossips on the street has reached my ears of the so called sect with all their flaws exposed He said I would find comfort in their arms Like the Early Church, there was great rejoicing as I stepped into their midst The new kid on the block I was but not bullied There I met a friend closer than a brother I learnt to speak to himand hear his replies Many times I heard him say, this is the way walk in it  He is the still small voice during and after the raging in my soul Like Saul, I was blinded by light so my Ananias came along She, vibrant  full of smiles and life But her eyes told a different story, a certain pain with her mouth shut.  I come hear it call out to me We were soul sisters Like the proverbial Ananias, she laid her hands on my eyes. The scales falling off My mind at war It's weaponry laid to w...

I am liberated Nature ran it's course and set me free My torment is gone before me Yet I must keep the role play going Else, foul play will be suspected Who said anything about leaving this glided cage of mine It's my home now. The world is strange I don't know how to live anymore Without the paranoia of a slap or two being thrown my way With me right there to catch it I don't know how to act anymore  Without the tentative eye of I'll deal with you later I am shutting down I can't live without my tomentor Because he grounds and keeps me safe I don't know how but I found safety in the den of a wild wolf. Define Liberation I'm a fly in an uncorked bottle but finding no way out I die in the prison of my mind But I am liberated

Deafening Noises Loud shouts The slamming doors And the sounds of fists meeting flesh Screams Blood and gore The wounds with no breathing space open over and again Scars over the other The mental ones indelible The fight or flight response Only possible but not in a cage Relentlessly fight against the bars with no holds barred My stomach glued to my back Not for want of food But the blows dealt were also to my appetite I'm bulimic I am the envy of all  But all I am is a bird in a golden cage. Wounds at varying healing degrees Littered over the expanse of my body Covered by the finest linen money could buy A facade, a smile well practicced The show must go on The mask in place with the makeup in the right places So the Blue and black welts don't show I am at risk Hoping to find respite I take solace in the world that is as real as it comes but only to me My body battered, my voice stolen My prince charming is turned out monster The fairy tale exist only in my imagina...